-The pain of rejection because of the origin is perhaps the greatest pain, that non-acceptance could cause- explained the leader of the conference, Rhyannon Lloyd who began to organize meetings for reconciliation between ethnic groups and leadership for nearly twenty years after the Rwandan massacre.

-If our behaviour creates revulsion in another person or group, then in order to gain acceptance we can try to change our behaviour. But if you are refused because you belong to certain people, it is not dependent on us. In contrast with that we feel ineffective. Many words of the Bible show that God takes very seriously our sorrows, our wounds. But where in the churches can we talk about our feelings? Or the church rather just asks about and deals with our sins? – the lecturer asked. - Although we do not deal with the difficult feelings, it can lead to despondency, indifference, anxiety, blaming others, aggression. We cannot terminate of tension passed down from generation to generation, mistrust, hatred and exclusion without the honest exploration and understanding damages and pain caused by ethnic conflicts. During the conference the participants had the opportunity to consider and identify their losses because stemed from their origins, from the fact that they are Hungarians, Roma or belong to any minority. It was important for the people of certain ethnic groups to examine their feelings and to declare to one another as well. The long-term pain often leads to denial: we deny the aching absence; we do not allow our emotions close to us. We are afraid of the new pain or whether they take us seriously or abuse our wounds. Moreover, we give ground to misshapen convictions based on our false judgements and that these convictions determine our lives as long as we are eventually moving back to our narrow circles.

After formulating the common and the individual grievances, what can we do with these? Is it enough if we share them and talk to each other? The answer is clearly no. But in addition to find comprehension of each other, the forgiveness, the healing of the wounds are hidden in the power of God.  After the participants also committed to paper their losses and grievances, with a symbolic regard, they could nail those to the cross lying in front of the benches.

The last day of the workshop was the highlight. The groups very honestly summed up why they want to apologize – the Roma to the Non-Roma and vice versa, the Hungarians to the Hungarians living beyond the borders and the minorities living in the country, the minority to the majority. For the apology sheets of paper they placed the hatred, aggression, jealousy, feeling of superiority, work or school discrimination, exclusion from the congregation, neglect, intimidation, racist phrases, jokes, scapegoating, ignoring the historical grievances. After apologies they found each other in the embrace of reconciliation - Roma and Non-Roma, Korean, Mongolian, American, Welsh, Hungarian, Slovak and Romanian. The conference was closed with a festive dinner and the various ethnic groups bid farewell to each other with a blessing.

In Hungary, the Reformed Roma Mission organized the conference for reconciliation between peoples. It was originally launched few years after the 1994 genocide in Rwanda, and it arrived in other African countries, and later Afghanistan and Sri Lanka as well. The workshop consists of a symbolic building of the house of reconciliation, of which steps are closely following each other. The base of the house is experiencing God’s fatherly love; the walls are the recognition and excuse of the grievances and the roof is the forgiveness and reconciliation. During the conference the participants listen to each other's stories; they understand each other's sufferings and ask for forgiveness from each other in the presence of God.

 Reformatus.hu

Translated by Bianka Bénó